Sunday, 7 December 2008

An overheard conversation on an incredibly crowded Saturday night train

I am stood, crushed into the sprawl, reading a comic.

MAN: Darling move aside, the gentlemen wishes room so that he may entertain himself with his comic.
WOMAN: Oh sorry. A man reading picture stories, how quaint. I do love coming to London.
MAN: Me too, in this carriage, pushed up against all these people, reminds me of why I'm alive.
WOMAN: I concur. I mean, out where we live, it's so empty, so lifeless.
MAN: Middlesex is not known for its charm darling.
WOMAN: I wonder what that gentleman has had for dinner. His breath is incredibly interesting.
MAN: Smells oniony that's for sure.
WOMAN: Maybe a hint of basil.
MAN: I wouldn't say so.
MAN: Darling that tal black gentleman is listening to that song that Evie likes.
WOMAN: Yes, so rhythmic. Really so very rhythmic.
MAN: I can see why she likes it. It must really help her focus her tic.
WOMAN: I wonder if you should ask the gentleman who it's by so we can buy her another CD.
MAN: Sir, sir, I was wondering...
MAN 2: What? Is it too loud?
MAN: Oh no, I was wondering who sang that song you're listening to. You see, Evie, our daughter has a palsy and she finds that listening to your sort of music, not black music, but rap music, really helps her palsy.
MAN 2: It's Dizzee Rascal.
MAN: Excellent thank you sir. Apologies for the intrusion.
WOMAN: Good work. Now darling I don't mean to alarm you but I think we may have missed our stop...

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