Thursday, 4 September 2008

Geeks through the ages #3: Velma Dinkley

Velma, Scooby Doo's token nerd friend, had the skills to pay the bills, the brain to source the pain, and intellect to dissect crime scenes. She struck fear into the hearts of pretendetectives like Poiret, Columbo and Kojak with her deducing capabilities. American's very own Sherlock Holmes. Velma, excelsior!

With the bimbo, the slacker, the jock and the dawg, the nerdy Velma was earmarked by three geeky characteristics: a rollneck jumper to show no skin whatsoever; thick glasses; lack of height. She was certainly no flame-haired svelte two-eyed vixen like Daphne. Oh no.

But could Daphne work out why Mr Smithers, the park ranger, was dressed up like the ghost of Blackbeard in a haunted circus? No.

A veritable Sherlock in spectacles, and the undisputed brains of the outfit, Velma Dinkley is always the first to decipher the clues and figure out who's hiding under the mask. Velma tends to get separated from the gang almost as often as Scooby, but for opposite reasons. Scooby's running FROM the clues...Velma's intently following them. And unlike Scooby, she's very easy to find. Simply listen for her "Jinkies!"; she says it every time she makes a significant discovery.

My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!
Velma is certainly most brainy, for not only does she have a keen mind for solving crimes, but can be found reading Chinese or Japanese, deciphering scientific formulae, operating communications equipment, and so forth. Shame she can't ever keep her glasses on her face. I think it's because they don't have the hooky curves that loop back around your ears... They're straight-armed. Shame no one taught Velma erganomics.

So so who says all geeks need to be sci-fi-x-file-comedy-kevin-smith-nerds, some just like solving crimes... and hanging around haunted houses... and deciphering hieroglyphics... and flying hot air balloons... and using ground-to-air-missiles... and going around with their infinite stupider friends, insulting their self-esteem by constantly flexing her superior intellect and making them look like stupid cowards. Except Fred... he was good at setting traps.

Velma Dinkley, you certainly are a geek through the ages, for all ages. You jinky.

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