You know when Indian call centres call you up and they give you fake names likes James Smith or Rosie o'Donnell or Conan O'Brien? Well, today I was phoned up by someone from the UK National Accident survey, claiming to be Chris Carter. He had a thick Indian accent. The name Chris Carter immediately conjures up the surfer dude who created the X Files. This is where we join the scene.
CARTER: This is Chris Carter calling from the UK National Accident Survey. Have you had an accident there in the last 2 years.
ME: No I haven't. Please take me off your list. Thank you.
CARTER: Sir! I believe you will find this is not a promotional call. This is a governmental matter.
ME: Are you from the FBI?
CARTER: Sir! I do not understand.
ME: Never mind. Your name is the same as the guy who created the X Files.
CARTER: People are always telling me this. Now, where were you on 14th May 2006?
ME: I don't know.
CARTER: I believe the truth is you were having a road accident. Is this correct?
ME: Not me. I've never been in a road accident.
CARTER: Not according to these records. Are you claiming they are falsified.
ME: Are you sure you mean me?
CARTER: You are MR SHUKLA YES? Then you had the accident.
ME: I didn't have an accident.
CARTER (reading me my address like I'm thick):....
ME: You know, I didn't live at this address in 2006.
CARTER: Yes you did... you had a road accident then. It is in our records.
ME: WHat are you talking about? I didn't.
CARTER: Sir, telling me a lie now will damage your compensation claim.
ME: But I didn't have an accident!
ME: I didn't live here in 2006.
ME: Maybe it was the previous tenant.
CARTER: Oh! Sorry. This is a mystery...
ME: Well, the truth is out there...
CARTER: I will solve this unexplained mystery. Thank you and sorry.
Brain Drain #3 - Photos
7 years ago